Crocheting My Life Back Update 3 (see project introduction, update 1, and update 2)
As I sit down to write this I’m not feeling too great. On one hand I have been blessed this week and on the other I’ve ‘missed the mark‘. Yes, it is another week and although I’ve committed to doing this challenge I can’t say I’ve done it perfectly.
Perfection has been my enemy since 11th grade when I was faced with the reality of my imperfection. Why I didn’t realize it before I don’t know? I’ve been haunted by fear ever since. I won’t do certain things because I know I will not do them perfectly. I need to move past this in order to grow.
Crocheting My Life Back – Sara
Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
A few days ago I watched Joe Cross’s Movie “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead” and was motivated to do a juice fast again. That lasted for half a day. Enjoyed my green juice though.
Hunger Satisfied
I was invited to a food and body image Bible study and again I was motivated for a little while but slipped up and have been berating myself ever since.
Garden Diet
On Monday I received a mailing from a Raw Vegan program I belong to. I did this program 3-times in the past. (losing 30 pounds each time and gaining it all back) I’ve been ignoring the emails for months now and Monday I opened it up. I visited the forum and was encouraged by the fellow members to keep going and add fresh fruits and vegetables to my diet and curb my addiction to food and coffee.
Blogosphere
I was even encouraged on the second update for this challenge by Dortha and Sedruola.
You can do it! You’ll be crocheting hearts before you know it!
One of my favorite tricks…I keep a bowl of washed, ready to eat produce on hand. I’ve found if I have fruits and veggies washed and at easy access I am much more likely to actually eat themand less likely to grab junk food. ~ Dortha
Water instead of anything else. Drink water when you think you’re hungry, at least 8oz. then, if you still feel hungry, eat fruits and veggies. However, I do allow myself a bowl of chips and a soda once or twice a week.
~ Sedruola
Progress Comes From Doing not Thinking
I didn’t get to where I am over night and I shouldn’t expect to be healthy overnight either BUT I do. Whatever I do, I want to do it perfectly and if I can’t then I won’t do it. (Nursing School, Piano, Guitar, Knitting, Sewing, and a slew of other things)
You are getting a sneak peek into the real reason I’m still not at a 5 figure income – Fear, Discipline, and Follow Through. Pretty big monsters to tackle huh?
Conclusion
Here’s to another week of trying. When you want something you do it right? When I want a piece of chocolate I go and get it. Maybe I don’t want this enough? I know I should because my family needs me and I’m tired of the constant head battle that goes on BUT a part of me just doesn’t care.
There might be a little fear in there too but if I’m truly honest, my body image and weight are deeply woven into my identity. My first memory being when I was in 2nd grade. I might have to deal with the emotions that are connected with those memories before I can truly move on in this challenge.
Hearts might have been the perfect symbol for this Crocheting my Life Back challenge – it is a battle and I need to get ready to fight.
Statistics:
- Beginning Weight: 327 lbs
- Weekly Weight Loss/Weight Gain: 0 (stayed the same again)
- Total Weight Loss/Weight Gain: 0
- Hearts Allowed: 0
- Hearts Made: 0
Plan for Next Week
- I will make a chart for hourly focus (I have the chart made I just didn’t print it out)
- I will print up some affirmations and tape them around the house as reminders (DONE)
- Drink more water.
- I wonder if I could find a buddy in the Bible Study to be prayer/chat partners
About Sara Duggan
I’m about to rock the boat a bit…
My first thought is that this post and the last 2 updates have really focused on hunger. Weight is a problem for me as well. I am morbidly obese. I know I am. However, for me, exercise is a real issue.
My thoughts are that you are very focused on the negative. I think that you need to look at positive instead and most importantly, forgive yourself when you mess up! If you are offered pizza.. pace yourself.
The one ‘tip’ I have is to consciously eat more slowly. It can take 20mins for the brain to realise you are full. Sip water at the same time. If you feel hungry between meals, drink water and wait 20mins. If you still feel hungry then eat something.
I would definitely find a supportive friend in this. Their job is tell you to relax when you mess up and not tell you off for that bag of chips.
Good luck and I hope some of this essay (lol) helps
Petra recently wrote…Relaxing Sunday
Oh Petra this is so very timely and I appreciate your words. Oh, yes I do tend to focus too much on the negative. I didn’t know I was doing that, thank you for pointing that out. I can exercise pretty easily 3 times week because there is an ever present motivation of inability to walk without back pain. Seriously I just go 5 pounds over my current weight and the pain is unmanageable.
I like the idea of water which by the way is a fairly new habit for me. Up until 2010 I was a soda drinker and the raw vegan diets (3 times) helped cure me of that addiction. Positive huh?
I drink water all the time now but have picked up the Coffee habit.
I appreciate you Petra ((cyber hugs))